
Every relationship in life has three stages: the honeymoon stage, the disappointment stage, and the decision stage. We see the relationship stages in marriages. Newlyweds are full of excitement, enthusiasm, and a sense of euphoria. After a while, they begin to see the weaknesses in their mates. They may be disappointed in various things that don’t turn out as planned.
One way to avoid the disappointment stage is to have a long dating and engagement period. Young people have asked me how I managed to stay married to my wife for 49 years until she died. My answer is that we dated for seven years, so neither of us was surprised by the other’s weaknesses. Additionally, we shared a relationship with Jesus Christ, so there was no religious strife between us. Divorce courts often see couples who have been married for a relatively short time but are already in the decision stage. Various country songs express this, such as: “She got the goldmine, I got the shaft”, “She got the mansion, I got the Jeep.”
Churches are guilty of entering honeymoon stages by hiring a preacher who “tried out” based on one sermon and a visit. Once hired, his weaknesses become evident, and people start wanting a new preacher. The average tenure of preachers is about three years. Part of the problem is confusion about the role of a local preacher. For one man to be the “pastor” who runs the local congregation is illogical and unbiblical. Each member of the local church has a role in ministering to the body.
Jesus faced the issue of relationship stages. When He provided miracles, people followed Him, but when He taught them to change their lives, many entered the decision stage and left. (See John 6:60-69.) When I left atheism and became a Christian, I wanted to serve God. I found there was a huge need for young people to see that science supports faith in God and the truth of the Bible. I thought older church members were mature, and the congregation would be like heaven on earth. I quickly discovered there are relationship stages in the local church. Some church members attacked me, and to this day, a large section of the Church of Christ rejects me. However, I have never been disappointed in my relationship with Jesus Christ, and that is what keeps me going.
For more of my story, read “Why I Left Atheism” on doesgodexist.org or watch video programs 31 and 32 on doesgodexist.tv.