marriage Archives - DOES GOD EXIST? TODAY

January 17, 2025January 12, 2025

Reasons for Divorce

The Saturday Evening Post reprinted a survey of the reasons for divorce compiled in 1950 based on 425 divorce case files. The author, David G. Wittles, ignored what he called the “symptoms” and listed these nine as the actual causes of divorce:

1) Emotional immaturity
2) Our modern industrial civilization, which has wiped out many of the material reasons for family life.
3) The idea that romantic love is the main reason and sufficient basis for marriage.
4) Parental disapproval and mother-in-law trouble.
5) Differences in background.
6) Finances and lack of housing.
7) Jobs for women.
8) Ambition.
9) Infidelity.

We can speculate whether those are the same reasons for divorce today, but the bottom line is that when we throw out God’s plan, divorce is likely. A current survey would be very interesting.

Biblical marriage came about because (1) It is not good for men (or women) to be alone and (2) Men need a helper to fill in for what they cannot do by themselves – also true for women. (See Genesis 2:18). In 1 Corinthians 7:1-5, Paul explains the physical side of marriage, and all studies have shown that the best sex is with one faithful partner. Those who look for modern solutions to their sexual needs are 100% sure not to find them. The effect that marriage has on raising children is another essential part of this discussion. Blended families can work, but a stable nuclear family is the long-term best way to raise a child.

Ephesians 6:1-4 and Colossians 3:21 spell out what God intended for fathers to be. This has nothing to do with conception but how children are loved and cared for by the male image in their childhood. God’s plan has worked for centuries, and the basic needs of men, women, and children have not changed.

— John N. Clayton © 2025
Reference: “The Real Reason for Divorce” in the January/February 2025 issue of the Saturday Evening Post, page 76

June 29, 2023June 27, 2023

Denigrating Women Is Not God’s Plan

Some have attempted to use the Bible’s teachings to justify denigrating women. This ignorance was an issue in the time of Jesus, and it continues today, not just in undeveloped countries but even in America.

The problem of not carefully studying the biblical concept of women’s role goes back to Genesis 2:18-24. God created Adam as a living being with a spiritual dimension. Adam observes and names the animals, but he is still unable to live as God intended. Verse 20 says, “There was not a helper fit for him.” The Hebrew word for helper is “ezer,” which is “one who provides strength in the area where the helped one is lacking” (New World Bible Dictionary). Eve is not inferior to Adam. Adam joyfully proclaims, “This, at last, is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh.”

In Matthew 19:8, Jesus refers back to Genesis 2 as He denies men the right to treat their wives as objects saying, “Because of the hardness of your hearts Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning, it was not so.” The passage in Genesis 2 refers to wife (singular), not wives plural. It is in Genesis 4:19 that man first violates God’s plan with Lamech having two wives. Lamech’s actions and denigrating women eventually led to the immorality that produced the flood of chapter 6.

The rejection of God’s plan has caused terrible treatment of women through the ages. Jesus included women in his ministry, and Luke 8:1-3 reveals they played a major role. In John 4, Jesus deals with the Samaritan woman at the well, and in verse 27, even His disciples were amazed at his treatment of this woman. Ephesians 5:25-33 tells Christian men to love their wives as their own bodies (verse 28). Galatians 3:28 tells us that in the Church, there is no male nor female, for we are all one. That was the message of Genesis 2, which is repeated in Christianity today.

Today’s world has turned away from God’s teachings, denigrating women and using them as sex objects. Men have used survival of the fittest to persecute women and keep them under economic control. Men and women each have specific roles. Only women can give birth to babies, but today many choose to abort. Men have the role of spiritual leadership, but most of them fail at that. Christ’s teachings and the Apostles’ instructions uniquely elevate women and challenge men to be what God calls them to be. As society rejects God’s teachings, women suffer the most.

May 5, 2023April 28, 2023

Eight Billion People on Earth

In November of 2022, the human population hit eight billion people. That means eight billion people need food, shelter, and energy for transportation and protection from the elements. In Genesis 1:28 and 9:1, God told Adam and Eve and later Noah and his family to “be fruitful and multiply.” Then the text uses the Hebrew word “mala” the Earth. Mala can mean fill, replenish, satisfy, accomplish, or confirm, according to Strong’s Exhaustive Concordance.

God’s command to early humans told them to take on the responsibility of caring for the planet. It does not mean their only purpose would be to have lots of children. God expects us to control and care for the creation, not merely endure its challenges. There is a fundamental difference between the biblical concept of our relationship to the planet and our present state, which has caused poverty and starvation.

The Christian system teaches a one-man/one-woman system of marriage as opposed to polygamy. It also teaches that being a father places responsibilities upon men. Passages like Ephesians 6:4 and Colossians 3:21 make it clear that fathering children gives men a responsibility to encourage and guide them.

The quality of life for Earth’s eight billion people depends on how we manage the issues of population control and caring for the environment. The teachings of Christ support the nurturing of the Christian family. The selfish and reckless placing of pleasure above all else brings pain to the individuals who embrace it and tragedy to human society. Promoting and following the Christian system of values is essential for human flourishing, and the collateral damage produced by not following it is becoming increasingly evident.

February 14, 2022February 13, 2022

God’s Original Plan for Marriage

Marriage is perhaps the most abused institution God has given us. Historically, people have used marriage for political purposes or as a national defense strategy. One way for a ruler to make peace with a rival king was to marry his daughter. The Bible describes cases of that, and they turn out to be a disaster. People sometimes use polygamy and arranged marriages to cement agreements of all kinds. They have strayed from God’s original plan for marriage by doing so.

Men have used marriage to denigrate and abuse women. They thought of women as possessions and baby machines but nothing more. In some cultures, you could show how wealthy you were by the number of women you controlled. Concubines were common among rulers in the ancient world. Even today, you can buy a wife online or through marriage brokers, and for some women, it has been a path to U.S. citizenship. In recent times, marriage has expanded to include all kinds of relationships, including homosexual and animal relationships.

It is no wonder that God’s original plan for marriage with a man and a woman is becoming less and less recognized in the world today. Genesis 1:27-28 makes it clear that men and women are equal. It is hard to misunderstand when it says, “…in the image of God, male and female He created them.” Passages like Galatians 3:28 point out that there is no distinction between races or sexes in the eyes of God. As far as value, we are “all one in Christ Jesus.”

Genesis 2 elaborates on God’s original plan for marriage between a man and a woman. In verse 18, God says, “It is not good for man to be alone,” and He created a “helper suitable for him.” Genesis 2:24 concludes this relationship by saying, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and shall cleave to his wife and they shall be one flesh.” The Hebrew word translated “cleave” means “adhere to.” This word refers to closeness, such as your tongue cleaving to the roof of your mouth (See Palms 137:6 and Job 29:10). This is not talking about a sexual act but a close relationship.

If a person’s view of marriage is that it is just a sexual relationship, then every person who engages a prostitute is married to her. Some marriages have failed because sex is the only thing the two individuals have. Marriage does fulfill the biological drive built into humans (See 1 Corinthians 7:2-), but that cannot be the sole basis of a marriage, or the relationship will not be what God’s original plan for marriage was designed to be. Becoming one and adhering means having a relationship that is so close that each one’s big concern in life is for the well-being of their mate. That kind of relationship blesses everyone, including children and family.

The New Testament tells us to conform to the laws of the land (1 Peter 2:13-15 and Romans 13:1-2), but the state may recognize relationships that God does not. Some people may want to marry their dog, cat, or chimpanzee, but God does not recognize such relationships. Cohabitation is not marriage and fails to bring the kind of blessings marriage brings. Studies show that cohabitation does not produce lasting relationships. Even though the LGBTQ community has adopted its own concept of marriage, the evidence does not indicate that it offers the stability and closeness God wants us to have.

As one who has been married for 61 years at the time of this writing, I can tell you that God’s system of marriage works. Jesus dealt with this issue many times. In Matthew 19:4-5, He repeats the message of Genesis. His critics asked why Moses allowed a perversion of God’s original plan for marriage. Jesus’ response was, “Because you knew so little of the meaning of love, but it was not intended that way at the beginning” (Phillips translation). How true that is in today’s world.

July 12, 2021July 11, 2021

What Marriage Is

Cecil May Jr. wrote an article in “Preacher Talk” published by Faulkner University, where he is Dean Emeritus. It deals with what marriage is and what is happening to it in our culture. We thought it was “right on target.” He graciously permitted us to share it with you here:

SECULAR HUMANISM AND THE SEXUAL REVOLUTION

Biblical religionists have lost a major battle to those who oppose any mention of Jesus as Lord, any reference to the Bible, any letting the Bible define conduct as sin, or to the practice of prayer anywhere except in religious services inside church buildings. A Christianity confined to church buildings is like salt that never gets out of the saltbox.

The opinion-makers in the USA-including the mainstream media-has sold the idea that opposing homosexual relations, which the Bible clearly labels sin, is a civil rights issue, equivalent to racial discrimination. The redefinition of marriage from God’s “one man for one woman for life” into two women or two men for each other came in the same package. So did no-fault divorce, unmarried couples living together, and “open marriages,” where other sexual partners are both expected and accepted.

Here is what the Bible says about marriage: “Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled” (Hebrews 13:4). “He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the LORD” (Proverbs 18:22).

Here is what the Bible says about sexual relations outside of marriage: “…but fornicators and adulterers God will judge” (Hebrews 13:4). “Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality … will inherit the kingdom of God” (1 Corinthians 6:9-10).

Marriage is widely discounted as “just a piece of paper.” But it is much more than that. Aside from being a significant legal document, it signifies commitment. More than that, the lack of marriage loudly proclaims the absence of commitment. No commitment of either husband or wife to the other, “for better or worse” or “for as long as we both shall live.” No commitment of a father or mother to whatever children may be born to that non-committed union.

An aged married woman had a severe case of dementia. Her husband finally had to put her in a nursing home. He came to see her every day. He helped feed her, dress her and fix her hair. She often had to ask, “Who was that man?” Someone asked him, “Why do you come every day since she doesn’t even know who you are.?” He replied, “1 know who she is, and I know who I am. She is my wife.”

That is what marriage is, more than “just a piece of paper,” committed love!

March 5, 2020March 4, 2020

Nuclear Families Are Needed

Television, books, movies, and pop psychology have all tried to offer alternatives to the biblical concept of the family. From Genesis 2:24 on, the Bible gives instructions to build what modern social scientists now call “the nuclear family.” Scientists define a nuclear family as “a unit headed by two loving, married parents.” In today’s society, more nuclear families are needed.

In the first two centuries of America’s existence, people were embedded in a group that included aunts, uncles, cousins, siblings, and grandparents. That meant there were always people available to care for a child or a senior who needed help. With the movement to the cities and the emphasis on self-fulfillment and individuality, the nuclear family has disintegrated. Parents now pay people to perform child-rearing tasks. Kids find themselves in single-parent homes, which leave them alone a vast percentage of the time. Seniors are often isolated because their children have moved away.

Research shows that the collapse of the nuclear family has produced terrible consequences. In 1960, 77.5% of children lived in nuclear families. Today that figure is 48%. The rise of suicide, depression, and income inequality can be linked to family disintegration. Robert Samuelson writing in the Washington Post said that we can’t go back to the way things used to be because of “geographic mobility, the need and desire of women to work, or high divorce rates.” Despite the challenges, nuclear families are needed to create a healthy society.

There is a huge need for Christians to exemplify the success that can come with the nuclear family developed around the core principles found in God’s Word. Nuclear families are needed, and we can best change the world by showing that God’s plan works.

Data and quote from The Week, March 6, 2020, page 16.

February 10, 2020June 24, 2020

Marriage and Health

God created man and equipped him to live on planet Earth in the best possible way. God said, “It is not good that man should be alone” (Genesis 2:18), and He created woman, so the two of them would be one (Genesis 2:24). Paul further emphasized the relationship between man and woman in 1 Corinthians 7. As our society moves farther from belief in God and biblical teaching, marriage is being denigrated and avoided by a large percentage of our population. What many don’t realize is that there is a connection between marriage and health.

So what evidence do we have that God’s plan is best? Consider the results of these studies that indicate that personal health is related to a person’s marital state:

1) Unmarried men are 58% more likely to have a heart attack than married men, and single women are 60% more likely to have heart attacks than married women. This data comes from a study by Turku University Hospital in Finland.
2) Studies of 19,000 married people showed a 20% lower probability of dying than unmarried people, according to the National Opinion and Research Center.
3) Studies at the University of Chicago show that single people have higher cortisol levels than married individuals. Cortisol levels are related to stress.
4) The University of Rochester reports that 83% of married people are still alive 15 years after coronary bypass surgery, while only 28% of single women with the same surgery are still alive.

A good marriage can improve your physical health as well as your emotional health. You can argue with individual studies, but similar studies continue to show a connection between marriage and health. A good marriage benefits both partners.

Data from Focus on the Family, February/March 2020, page 16.

November 15, 2019November 12, 2019

Presenting Alternative Lifestyles to Young Children

We have frequently pointed out that the teachings of Jesus Christ make it clear that we must love and respect those with whom we disagree. Matthew 5:39-48 is hard to misunderstand. We must not attempt to harm anyone, including those who might be teaching things that oppose what the Bible says. There is no excuse for those who claim to be Christians to physically attack anyone because they are a part of the LGBT movement. At the same time, we have to be concerned and vocally oppose those who promote immoral behavior, especially when it involves presenting alternative lifestyles to young children.

Recently the popular children’s show “Arthur” on the Public Broadcasting System (PBS) ran an episode entitled “Mr. Ratburn and the Special Someone.” It featured a wedding ceremony between Mr. Ratburn and a character named Patrick. This program is funded by tax dollars and is aimed at preschool children. Disney has placed LGBT characters in the 2017 remake of Beauty and the Beast and its television cartoon series Doc McStuffins. Drag Queen events have been held in Austin, Texas, and Portland, Oregon, in programs aimed at preschool children.

LGBT leaders claim that these promotions of their lifestyles are no different than a PBS program on Christmas music, or Christmas events held in public venues. It would seem that presenting material to preschoolers about drag queens and gay marriage is far more complicated than historical stories. Since tax dollars fund PBS, and religious programming is constantly refused by the same media, it seems that promotion of the LGBT lifestyle should also be prohibited.

The bottom line is that parents need to monitor what their children are exposed to. You can’t rely on PBS or Disney to offer only factual and moral material and avoid presenting alternative lifestyles to young children.
— John N. Clayton © 2019

Data from Family Research Council, October 2019 newsletter pages 1-4.

October 9, 2019October 8, 2019

Marriage Versus Cohabitation

A U.S. Census Bureau report released September 25, 2019, says that the number of unmarried partners living together has tripled in the past two decades. The report says that the number went from 6 million in 1996 to 19.1 million in 2018. There are all kinds of editorials about this data, with some writers referring to it as “increasing normalization.” The report comments that people who cohabitate are “older, better educated, more likely to earn higher wages and more racially diverse.” The report also says that cohabitation is “an alternative to marriage for low-income and less educated people.” What is the truth about marriage versus cohabitation?

Why government reports find it necessary to attempt to explain data escapes me. Interpreting the data in an atheistic way is not only illogical but raises more questions than it answers. What was the population from which the data was taken? How many of the people cohabitating have children, and what effect is the cohabitation having on the children? How does cohabitation provide a viable alternative for low-income people? My wife and I were eligible for public assistance when we got married. We had no money, and I was a public school teacher making $4300 a year. Working as a team, we lifted ourselves out of that poverty and provided a stable home for our three children. On my own, none of that would have been possible.

Another vital aspect the report doesn’t mention is the role of sex in marriage and cohabitation. First Corinthians 7:1-6 describes the concern married Christians should have for the sexual needs of their mates. Every expert from Masters and Johnson to modern specialists has shown that a committed relationship provides the best in sexual satisfaction and the most fulfilling relationship for both men and women. Cohabitation may satisfy the immediate sexual gratification of some, especially males. It does not meet the real needs of both men and women in the long term.

It is no wonder that many young people are embracing alternative living arrangements. They have been lied to by their culture and often influenced by the bad examples set by their parents. Also, they have had no instruction or education in God’s teaching on the divine plan for sex and marriage. The collapse of the nuclear family leaves children struggling with life and with increased learning disabilities. The result to fill the void they feel is the increasing use of drugs and a radical increase in suicide. When it comes to marriage versus cohabitation, God’s plan works. The alternatives do not.
— John N. Clayton © 2019

October 2, 2019September 30, 2019

Subtle War on Morals

The average person has difficulty getting reliable information about what is actually going on in our schools, courts, and legislatures. The media have become unreliable as media spokespersons affiliate with positions or groups and slant their reporting accordingly. This is true on all sides of every issue. Just getting a news report that isn’t slanted by reporter bias or omissions is a huge challenge. Here are some examples of a subtle war on morals that you probably won’t see in your local newspaper.

1) The state of California has adopted a program written by “The LGBT Consensual Non-Monogamy Task Force” of the American Psychological Association. It is intended to be presented to 7th and 8th graders about sex “partners” to help them understand that not all student homes are monogamous.

2) “The Health Education Framework” in California advises teachers about “various gender identities and sexual orientations …” It acknowledges “the existence of relationships that are not heterosexual by actively using examples of same-sex couples in class discussions.”

3) The “Born-Alive Abortion Survivors Protection Act” is designed to protect babies who are born alive after an abortion or other surgery. It has been locked up in Congress by pro-abortion senators.

4) Oregon House Bill 2023 mandates that children in grades K-12 in Oregon must be exposed to LGBT content in all subjects: civics, economics, geography, government, and history. An instruction to teachers about the bill says, “Teachers must teach radical identity politics in the classroom, whether or not it has anything to do with the subject taught.” It goes into effect on January 1, 2020.

5) Planned Parenthood has created a “chatbot” called “Ask Roo,” which gives children advice without parental consent. The app is designed to replace communication between a parent and a child on topics regarding “sex, values, and important life decisions.” Many school systems have adopted “Ask Roo” in their curriculum.

For more Information go online to: Susan B. Anthony List and Family Research Council