divorce Archives

January 17, 2025January 12, 2025

Reasons for Divorce

The Saturday Evening Post reprinted a survey of the reasons for divorce compiled in 1950 based on 425 divorce case files. The author, David G. Wittles, ignored what he called the “symptoms” and listed these nine as the actual causes of divorce:

1) Emotional immaturity
2) Our modern industrial civilization, which has wiped out many of the material reasons for family life.
3) The idea that romantic love is the main reason and sufficient basis for marriage.
4) Parental disapproval and mother-in-law trouble.
5) Differences in background.
6) Finances and lack of housing.
7) Jobs for women.
8) Ambition.
9) Infidelity.

We can speculate whether those are the same reasons for divorce today, but the bottom line is that when we throw out God’s plan, divorce is likely. A current survey would be very interesting.

Biblical marriage came about because (1) It is not good for men (or women) to be alone and (2) Men need a helper to fill in for what they cannot do by themselves – also true for women. (See Genesis 2:18). In 1 Corinthians 7:1-5, Paul explains the physical side of marriage, and all studies have shown that the best sex is with one faithful partner. Those who look for modern solutions to their sexual needs are 100% sure not to find them. The effect that marriage has on raising children is another essential part of this discussion. Blended families can work, but a stable nuclear family is the long-term best way to raise a child.

Ephesians 6:1-4 and Colossians 3:21 spell out what God intended for fathers to be. This has nothing to do with conception but how children are loved and cared for by the male image in their childhood. God’s plan has worked for centuries, and the basic needs of men, women, and children have not changed.

— John N. Clayton © 2025
Reference: “The Real Reason for Divorce” in the January/February 2025 issue of the Saturday Evening Post, page 76

February 6, 2020January 31, 2020

Sex and Culture in America

In 1934, British ethnologist and social anthropologist J.D. Unwin wrote a book titled “Sex and Culture.” It was based on a study he made of 86 societies over 5,000 years of history. This is an old study, and some have blown it off because of its age, but when you look at America today, Unwin’s statements are demonstrably true. His conclusion was:

“There is no instance of a society retaining its energy after a complete new generation has inherited a tradition which does not insist on both pre-nuptial and post-nuptial continence.” (In other words, purity before and after marriage.)

He went on to say that as long as the leaders of society “demanded sexual restraint” the society remained energetic and dominant. When the society became sexually permissive, forsaking sexual monogamy and encouraging premarital and extramarital sex and divorce, the society became less productive economically, scientifically, and artistically.

As our society throws off sexual morality, we see it starting to crumble and fulfilling Unwin’s observations. The political mess in America today shows the deteriorating nature of our country. Many of our politicians, and even religious leaders, engage in immorality. Lying is the accepted and even expected practice. Sex and culture are connected.

Consider these facts from the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and the American Sexual Health Association:

*Nearly 20 million new sexually transmitted infections occur every year in America–half among young people aged 15-24.

*One in six Americans aged 14 to 49 is infected with herpes.

*One in four teenage girls in the U.S. has at least one STD. Every eight seconds, a teenage girl contracts an STD.

*Chlamydia is running at roughly 2 million treated cases a year. Since it doesn’t show any symptoms in most people, the figure is actually much higher.

*Undiagnosed STDs cause 20,000 women a year to become infertile.

*Gonorrhea infections are at 800,000 new cases a year.

*From 1900 to 2000 the divorce rate in America increased by 700%.

*Every year over 400,000 American teenagers become pregnant–most out of wedlock. In 1960 5% of American babies were born out of wedlock. Today that number is over 40%.

*Half of all American children born today will live with a divorced or never married parent by age 18.

Critics of the Bible maintain that the biblical teaching about sexual conduct is out of date and unwise. Promiscuity and casual sex are promoted in movies, television, and music. Our population seems to have been lulled into the notion that sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) and sexually transmitted infections (STIs) are no longer an issue because medical science can cure anything.

Unwin was surprised by his findings concerning sex and culture. He did not take a religious stance and “offered no opinion about rightness or wrongness” of sexual mores. However, we want to say that following biblical morality is not only the best for individuals, it is also the best for society.

May 16, 2017June 13, 2019

Problems in American Public Education

Sometimes I have the opportunity to speak to groups of teachers or community groups interested in public education. One of my comments in those presentations is that I know what the basic problem is in American public education. I can give it to you in a very simple personal statistic. In 1959 when I began teaching at James Whitcomb Riley High School in South Bend, Indiana, I had a freshman homeroom with 32 kids. Four of those kids did not have the same last name as the person who was listed as their parent or guardian. When I retired from Riley 41 years later, I had a freshman homeroom with 32 kids in it. Only four of those kids did have the same last name as their parent or guardian. Kids who grow up in a stable nuclear family have a distinct advantage over kids who grow up in a climate of change and insecurity.

I was reminded of that fact when our local paper came out on Mother’s Day with a list of the 12 valedictorians of Mishawaka High School—a large public high school in our area. All 12 of them had the same last name as their parent or guardian. Please do not misunderstand these comments. We are not saying that kids who come from homes where there has been divorce or death are doomed to failure. Many of our children turn out well in spite of us, not because of us.

The fact is that God’s plan for the family provides the ideal environment for kids to grow up with the drive and motivation to be productive adults. Ephesians 5:15-6:4 instructs Christians in these matters. As a public school teacher, I have seen the wisdom of that teaching over and over. No politician will ever be able to solve the problems of public education until the problems of the American family are resolved, and I would suggest that only Jesus Christ has the power to do that.
–John N. Clayton © 2017