cohabitation Archives

If you listen to today’s music, whether country, heavy metal, folk, or pop, you will hear that “hooking up” is the thing to do. Television shows and movies add to the commercialization of sex, so we see the collateral damage of cohabitation in the entire entertainment industry.

Roughly 20.1 million couples in the United States live with an unmarried partner. That is approximately 8% of U.S. couples, most of whom are in the 25- to 34-year-old age group. According to Pew Research, by double digits, married adults are more likely to trust their spouse or partner to be faithful to them, to act in their best interest, to always tell them the truth, and to handle money responsibly. That means those who are cohabiting may never experience the complete joy and commitment that God intended for the marriage relationship.

Not only do the participants in cohabitation not know the security or commitment that comes from God’s design for marriage, but they also lose the structure of the nuclear family as God intended. Children grow up living with constant change in their home situation. Those of us who have been foster parents or have adopted children know how hard that is for the kids.

The collateral damage of cohabitation is a worldwide tragedy, with drugs, including alcohol and marijuana, catalyzing the instability of these relationships. Every culture in which marriage and family disintegrate is doomed to collapse. Will America learn from history or repeat it?

Reference: pewresearch.org

A U.S. Census Bureau report released September 25, 2019, says that the number of unmarried partners living together has tripled in the past two decades. The report says that the number went from 6 million in 1996 to 19.1 million in 2018. There are all kinds of editorials about this data, with some writers referring to it as “increasing normalization.” The report comments that people who cohabitate are “older, better educated, more likely to earn higher wages and more racially diverse.” The report also says that cohabitation is “an alternative to marriage for low-income and less educated people.” What is the truth about marriage versus cohabitation?

Why government reports find it necessary to attempt to explain data escapes me. Interpreting the data in an atheistic way is not only illogical but raises more questions than it answers. What was the population from which the data was taken? How many of the people cohabitating have children, and what effect is the cohabitation having on the children? How does cohabitation provide a viable alternative for low-income people? My wife and I were eligible for public assistance when we got married. We had no money, and I was a public school teacher making $4300 a year. Working as a team, we lifted ourselves out of that poverty and provided a stable home for our three children. On my own, none of that would have been possible.

Another vital aspect the report doesn’t mention is the role of sex in marriage and cohabitation. First Corinthians 7:1-6 describes the concern married Christians should have for the sexual needs of their mates. Every expert from Masters and Johnson to modern specialists has shown that a committed relationship provides the best in sexual satisfaction and the most fulfilling relationship for both men and women. Cohabitation may satisfy the immediate sexual gratification of some, especially males. It does not meet the real needs of both men and women in the long term.

It is no wonder that many young people are embracing alternative living arrangements. They have been lied to by their culture and often influenced by the bad examples set by their parents. Also, they have had no instruction or education in God’s teaching on the divine plan for sex and marriage. The collapse of the nuclear family leaves children struggling with life and with increased learning disabilities. The result to fill the void they feel is the increasing use of drugs and a radical increase in suicide. When it comes to marriage versus cohabitation, God’s plan works. The alternatives do not.
— John N. Clayton © 2019